Coping with grief: what is normal, and when to ask for help
Grief is the natural response to losing someone or something that mattered. There is no correct way to do it and no deadline for finishing. Many people are surprised by how physical and unpredictable it can be.
What grief can feel like
- Waves of sadness, sometimes with long calm stretches in between
- Numbness, or difficulty believing the loss is real
- Anger, guilt, or going over what you could have done differently
- Changes in sleep and appetite, and low energy
- Trouble concentrating, or feeling that life has lost its meaning for now
All of these are common. Grief is not a straight line, and a hard day months later does not mean you are going backwards.
Things that can help
Let yourself feel it. Pushing feelings away tends to make them return stronger.
Lean on your rituals and your people. Family gatherings, prayer, memorials and sharing stories about the person are important ways to honor a loss. Accept practical help with meals, errands and paperwork.
Keep gentle routines. Regular meals, some movement, daylight and rest give your body something steady to hold on to.
Do not rush big decisions if you can avoid it.
When to ask for support
It is worth talking to a counselor if you feel stuck in your grief and cannot function for a long time, if you are relying on alcohol or other substances to cope, if you are overwhelmed by guilt, or if the loss was sudden or traumatic and you keep reliving it. You do not need to wait until things are unbearable.
If you have thoughts of ending your life or harming yourself, please reach out to an urgent help line or someone you trust today.
This article is general information and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are worried about yourself or someone else, please contact us. If you are in danger, call 999 or 112, or see our urgent help lines.