Supporting a stressed teenager: how to start the conversation
Adolescence is a time of rapid change, and teenagers face pressure from school, friends, social media and family expectations. Some moodiness is normal. A lasting change in how a young person behaves is worth paying attention to.
Signs that a teenager may be struggling
- Pulling away from family and friends
- Irritability, anger or frequent tears
- A drop in school performance, or not wanting to go to school
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Headaches or stomach aches with no clear cause
- Losing interest in things they used to enjoy
- Any sign of using alcohol or other substances
Starting the conversation
Pick a calm moment. Side by side, such as during a walk, a drive or while cooking, often feels easier for a teenager than a face-to-face talk.
Start with what you have noticed, kindly. "You seem more tired lately and I have been thinking about you" is easier to hear than "What is wrong with you?"
Listen before fixing. Resist the urge to lecture, compare or solve. Often the most helpful thing is for them to feel heard.
Do not give up if the first try goes badly. Let them know you are available whenever they are ready.
Practical support
Predictable routines, enough sleep, time outdoors and time with friends all support a young person's wellbeing. It also helps to talk with their school if you think school is part of the problem.
When to bring in a counselor
Seek support if the changes last more than a few weeks, if school or friendships are clearly suffering, if you suspect substance use, or if your teenager talks about harming themselves or not wanting to live. In that case, do not wait. Stay with them and contact an urgent help line or a professional immediately.
Counseling gives a young person a neutral space to talk. Parents are usually part of the process, and a counselor can explain how privacy is handled.
This article is general information and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are worried about yourself or someone else, please contact us. If you are in danger, call 999 or 112, or see our urgent help lines.